Paternity Leave

RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES - Father's Don't Get Paid Paternity Time!

http://boston.cbslocal.com/2013/07/23/study-many-dads-dont-get-paternity-leave/

NO KIDDING!  I can't believe this is NEWS!  And you know what, during my maternity leaves, I worked for a small business, and I had to PIECE together my maternity leave.  In fact, because it was a small business (less than five employees), I didn't use vacation the year I was pregnant or the year before, and that was my paid maternity leave.  And then instead of taking my bonus, I used that for some additional time off. 

Adam at the time of our son's birth, took one week of vacation time.  That was it.  Yup.  He worked for a smallish start up (100 or so employees), and they didn't offer paid paternity.  At the time of our daughter's birth, was working for a huge company, that offered a FOUR WEEK PAID PATERNITY leave, and we used it!  And it could be used NON CONSECUTIVELY.  So, he took one week off as vacation for the week of the birth, and then once we exhausted my maternity leave (of my "vacation") he then spent four weeks at home. . .  bonding with the kids.  Our son wasn't in full time daycare at the time, so twice a week, he had BOTH kids. 

I will admit, I did not have him cook dinner or do the things that I did, but I was grateful that he was bonding with our kids.  What he did during the hours I was at work . . . . he decided.  He did the diaper changes, the meals, and if he did a load of laundry - GREAT!  But, we also knew that not everyone got this opportunity.  The opportunity of what life is like as a stay at home parent. . . . . a stay at home parent of a infant girl who was not as healthy as we expected.  He watched her like a hawk for any potential seizures, and of course he had to clean up after an "eruption" caused by her reflux.  Our little baby girl generated ALOT of laundry those early months, and he understood during his leave why we had so much laundry EVERY DAY.

I am really happy that Adam had this opportunity, and I wish more companies offered this benefit, because it benefits the family, and the company.  Adam, for four weeks, did not have to work at his job and work at home.  He didn't have to do the 60 minute commute on four hours of sleep for four weeks.  I am sure his body appreciate that.

But right now most dads in this country don't have this opportunity.

What do we have to do in order to change it from this headline to Father's Get Paid Paternity Time and we chastise the companies that DON'T offer this perk.

He is BACK

We picked up Mr. Mark on Sunday from overnight camp.  He came home tired, dirty and loving camp.  The first question out of his mouth was "Can I go for the whole summer next year?"

As much as I love my kid, and I want to do right by him, I still missed him - alot.  He is entering the pre-teen stage, and we have our moments, but I love him, and I missed him.  Three and a half weeks flew by for both of us.  I know that he is safe and happy at camp.  I know that he is learning more independence at camp.  I also know that I promised he could go for the WHOLE summer in 2014.  Now, I just have to figure out how to make it work for me.

Little sister will LOVE being an only child - again.  She loved having the world revolve around her, and we did GIRL things and we did family things (trip to the MFA), and she decided on which exhibits. 

It is great to have my boy home again.  He is attending day camp for the rest of the summer, but he is already planning summer of 2014 in his head.  He can't wait.  Camp truly is a special place!

Movie Review

Last night, I had the opportunity to see the movie, "Fill the Void" at the West Newton Cinema.  The movie is in Hebrew with subtitles.  It was a fabulous movie, that was much different than any Hollywood produced film.  The film is about an ultra Orthodox family in Israel.  The movie focuses on Shira.  Shira is an 18 year old girl, who is about to meet her future husband.  Shira looks up to her older sister, Esther.  Esther is 9 months pregnant, and happily married to Yochay.  Esther dies and leaves her newborn son (extra moments of sadness when the family has to bury the Esther and attend Mordechai's circumcision).

Shira's mother is distraught to think that Mordechai might be moving to Belgium, because that is where Yochay finds a new wife.  Shira's mother wants Shira to marry Yochay, and here is where the film really gets good.  Shira is desperate to get married. . . . all her friends are getting married. . .  .  but her parents aren't ready to become empty nesters so soon after Esther's death (even though they are caring for Mordechai).  I won't ruin the movie for you, but the relationship between Shira and Yochay moves from strangers. . . . to intimate . . . . and back again and back again, many times. 

The movie is wonderful . . . . and I love how I knew that Shira looked up to Esther and Esther loved being the big sister.  The relationship is real.  I love how near the end of the movie, Shira lets her emotions go, and her mother realizes that Shira needs her love. . . . (and Yochay witnesses this) . . . . and how Yochay weeps (and not only does Shira witness this, in her own way, reaches out to him and speaks with him honestly.

I would also recommend a coffee session to de-brief after this movie.  So much of this movie is NOT spoken, and you really need to think about and discuss.  Much of the movie needs to be discussed because we live so differently compared to Shria and her family, even though this is a modern day film.

It is a move that I recommend to people who want something that is NOT Hollywood. 

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

I grew up listening to Cyndi Lauper.  I remember when I bought myself the "She's so Unusual" album (cassette).  I loved that album and sang "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" for HOURS at end.  There was no question in my mind when my husband came home one night telling me about Cyndi's 30th Anniversary of the album. . . . and the tour.  I had to GO!  I HAD TO. 

The concert was in New Bedford at the Zeiterion Theater. . . . yes you read that correctly.  It took an hour to get to the theater, but the theater is beautiful on the inside.  It is a small venue but wonderful.

Another surprise - over 50% of the crowd was either 65 or over.  I had no idea that Ms. Lauper would attract that age group.  I had imagined dancing with people my age, and yelling out the words of MONEY CHANGES EVERYTHING with people of my generation. 

There was an opening act - Harper Vallentine - nothing to write home about.  But Cyndi sang the WHOLE album.  And during the show she talked to us. . . . she told us how "hear the clock tick. . . . I think of you . . . . " and other lyrics.  At times it was very intimate.  Once during the show she started the song over again, because she was a beat off from the instruments.

The songs that she sang:

Money Changes Everything
Girls Just Want to Have Fun
When You Were Mine
Time After Time
She Bop
All Through the Night
Witness
I'll Kiss You
He's So Unusual
Yeah Yeah

The first encore was Sex Is in the Heel, and it was awesome. . . . but it was late. . . . I had to work the next day . . . . we were paying a baby sitter and I was still an HOUR away from the house. . . . and I heard EVERYTHING that I had wanted to hear.

Would I go back to the Zeiterion????  Yes. . . . but it would have to be for someone special and a good day of the week . . . . Getting back at midnight is rough for this under 65 person!