Right now my little girl (who is seven years old) is into pink,
purple, sparkles and make-believe. I
want her to enjoy her childhood, but I also want her to grow up into a smart,
confident, responsible, healthy and happy adult. (Nothing like dreaming BIG). I look at her and see how smart she is, and
how much she loves school. She is a
great reader and is able to do the cancan in the newspaper on some days. I want her to grow up and become what she
wants. Right now, she either wants to be
a teacher, a veterinarian or a hair stylist.
Whatever she becomes I want her to be happy.
I want her to love math and science. Her dad is a big math and science guy. I enjoyed science, and did well in math
(without loving it). I want her to try
science and math things, and not be intimated by the boys in her class. She is smart and she can do it. I don’t want her derailed because she is the
only female in the science or math class or club.
I want her to succeed!
I want her to earn every dollar that a man would earn. I want her to choose something that makes her
happy. I don’t want her to think about
when she becomes a mom . . . . she wouldn’t be able to . . . . the world is hers. I want the world to treat her fairly . . .
both in raises and compensation, but also to describe her using words that are
gender neutral. I want her to rise in
her career. I want her to succeed.
Of course, I also want her to get married. I want her future spouse to share the
household responsibilities, just like I do with her dad. The list of our chores are at the bottom of
this blog post And if she chooses to be
a stay at home parent, I want her to be happy with that decision. It will be her life and she needs to decide
what will make her happy. In today’s
world many families have two parents working, and that is okay. It is also okay to be a stay at home mom.
Because I work, we don’t follow a “traditional” role of
tasks. We split the chores depending on
our talent and skills. No one person
could do it all (and I am in AWE of single parents who can do everything on the
list, because they don’t have a person who can share it.)
I am very lucky since my husband came into our marriage
knowing how to do laundry and keep a clean house. I know many women that marry men who expect
them to do all the household chores. It
is my belief in a house with a married couple, the jobs should be delegated
according to time available and talent.
Just because a women stays at home does not mean she inherits all of the
chores, because there is no way one person can do it all (and be happy). In a home with two working adults, the duties
need to be split, but also the spouses need to talk about expectations. In our house, it is acceptable to a certain
level, to have clutter on the coffee table. . . except when company
arrives. Before then, I go around and
clean off the coffee table, and hide items in my bedroom (shhhh, I know you
won’t share this with anyone).
My husband and I communicate openly about the roles we play
and the skills we bring to the household.
What Dad Does
- Write the checks for the bills
- Clean up after dinner
- Trombone practice with older child
- Dry Cleaner – drop off and pick up;
- Purchases presents and cards for his side of the family
Gets kids off to school and camp
Chief Technology Officer (Computer, Zune, Music, Cell Phone, Camera, etc)
Chief Music Officer
What Mom Does
Makes dinner and breakfast
Makes and snacks lunches for all
Contact for Financial Planner
Contact for CPA
Chief paperwork coordinator (for camp, for after school, for taxes, physicians, official records)
Coordinate lawn mowing with teenager
Coordinate with baby sitter
Coordinates most of the social calendar
Chief grocery shopper and meal planner
Purchases presents and cards for her side of the family
Picks up kids from school and camp
Coordinates doctor’s appointments
What we do together
- Empty the dishwasher
- Start the laundry
- Fold the laundry
- Assist children with shower
- Shovel the snow
- Rake the leaves
- Empty the trash
- Bring out the recycles
- Fill the bird feeder
- Bring children to library
- Bring children to medical appointments
- Coordinate car appointments for own car
- Set the budget
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