My Kid is Growing Up

It seems like yesterday my son left the safety of preschool, and started Angier Elementary School.  It was yesterday.  It was yesterday that I was worried about the large class of 25, the new teacher and making new friends.  It was yesterday that we found out you needed glasses.  It was yesterday that you were telling me what the tooth fairy wore (a pink sparkly dress - even though it is Daddy who plays the part of the tooth fairy.)  It was yesterday that I signed him up for his first summer of Meadowbrook Day Camp.  It was yesterday when he asked to join Succariah, the Israel Dance Program.  It was yesterday that I signed you up for Hebrew School.

 It was yesterday that he entered the safety of Ms. Brody’s first grade classroom.  It was yesterday when he made his own Flat Stanley (based on the book Flat Stanley by Jeff Brown) in first grade, and it was mailed to my cousin, Jeff in Hong Kong.  It was yesterday that you wanted to be a tooth for Halloween.  It was yesterday that I made him the presidential seal birthday cake.  It was yesterday when you ran into a pole while flying a kite.  It was yesterday that he met Jason Varitek at his first grade end of year party.

It was yesterday that he entered Ms. Wigder’s second grade classroom.  It was yesterday that a chipmunk ran into his second grade classroom.  He went to the Chinese Cultural Center and made a Chinese lantern.  It was yesterday that he studied Ghana, China and Mexico.  It was yesterday that you joined the boy scouts and had your first overnight.  It was yesterday when we took you to the top of Mount Washington.

It was yesterday that he entered Ms. Powell’s third grade classroom.  It was yesterday that Ms. Powell instructed him on how to build a paragraph with an interesting first sentence, three sentences that contain details and the concluding sentence.  It was Ms. Powell who taught him about WETU’s and assigned him the New England Mammal – the woodchuck.  It was in third grade that he requested to learn how to play trombone and we found Aubrey Logan, musician and teacher extraordinaire.   It was yesterday that you joined the synagogue's youth group. It was yesterday when we took you to your first Red Sox game.  And after a really great, hardworking year, we went to Disney.

It was yesterday that he entered Ms. Bauer and Ms. Allen’s fourth grade classroom.  It was yesterday that my son built the pentagon for his Washington DC project.  It was yesterday that he became my grandmother for the immigration unit.  It was yesterday that I packed him up for his first time at overnight camp.  It was yesterday that we got his Bar Mitzvah date.

It was yesterday that he entered Ms. Wink’s fifth grade classroom.  It was yesterday that he was accepted into All City Chorus.  It was yesterday that he was accepted into All City Band.  It was yesterday that he attended his first Funtastic Friday as a Fifth grader.

It is today that he is leaving Angier Elementary and soaring off to middle school.  It is TODAY that he is leaving Angier and starting overnight camp for three plus weeks.  It is today that my baby is no longer my baby.   It is today that I have to accept that I have parented him through the infant, toddler, preschool and elementary years and hopefully prepared him for middle school and all the social events of middle school and beyond.

Yummy Chicken

I have been using the Kosher by Design cookbooks for a few weeks now.  I really like the recipes.  This one is from the "Entertains" book, and is something that can be done after work.

Ingredients:

• 8 ounces bow tie pasta
• 3 tablespoons olive oil
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 3 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into bite sized pieces
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano
• 1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
• 1 teaspoon garlic salt
• 3/4 cup chicken broth
• 1/4 cup oil-packed, sun-dried tomatoes, cut into thin strips
• 1/4 cup dry white wine
• 2 Roma tomatoes chopped
• 1/2 cup frozen green peas (from a 10-ounce box) unthawed
• 1/4 cup soy milk

Preparation:

1. Cook the pasta according to package directions and drain.
2. Meanwhile, heat the oil in a large pan over medium heat. Add the garlic, cook for 30 seconds, do not brown it. Add the chicken, oregano, red pepper flakes, and garlic salt. Cook for 4 minutes. Add the broth, sun-dried tomatoes, and wine. Bring to a boil. Add in the fresh tomatoes and peas. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 5-6 minutes, uncovered. Make sure chicken is no longer pink.
3. Stir in the soymilk. Simmer 2 minutes more. Watch the whole time to make sure the sauce does not cook out. Add in the cooked pasta and toss to combine all. Heat through.

 

It made enough to feed the three meat eaters in the house with significant leftovers.  What I liked about this recipe is that it has a little bit of heat to it, but not too much.  The kids liked the dinner also, which is always a win with me!

My eldest

It is rare that I can get him to smile for a photograph.  He is going through a stage.  But, somehow I managed to convince him to get his face painted  . . . complete with a Bruins logo.

A Letter to my Son

My son is 11, and about to end his elementary school career and soar into middle school.  I also want him to grow up into a smart, confident, responsible, healthy and happy adult.  Yes, the same dream for both of my children.  I look at him and see how great he is at arithmetic (something he clearly gets from his dad) and how curious he is, and how much he likes to read.  Not only does he read fiction and comics, but he really likes nonfiction books.  On his fifth grade graduation, he said that in 15 years he wants to be a doctor, a medical examiner or a forensic scientist.  Wow.  When I was ten, I only knew about being a doctor. . .  . I had no idea that a forensic scientist existed, much less did!  But, whatever he comes, I want him to be happy.

I want him to continue to read and enjoy math and science.  I want him to try new things.  He is smart and I know he can do it. 

I want him to grow into an adult that shares the household chores with his spouse.  He sees that his dad and I share many chores, and there are no gender roles.  He already knows how to do the laundry, and he knows that certain items don’t go into the dryer.

And what about if he wants to be a stay at home dad?  What about if my son’s future spouse wants to be a stay at home parent?  What happens if they both want to work?  I would support the decision that the couple makes together.  I would want him and his spouse to discuss it between the two of them.  Whatever he wants to do, I want him to do it.

I want him to reach for his dreams.  If he wants to be a doctor – great (and I hope that he likes school, since there will be a lot of it).  I want him to be the kind of dad my husband is to him.  I want him to throw the balls with the kids, change the diapers, and teach the kids how to ride a bike.  I don’t want him behind a screen working while his children grow in front of him.  Even if he works, there is a balance of life.  One should not be expected to be connected 24-7.  Enjoy the family.  Have a few hobbies that are relaxing.  I want him to know that life passes you by quickly, and one should see the first hand, and not on a You Tube video . . . . while he is in the office. 

Balance of life.  I would like both of my kids and their future families to live a balanced life. . . . choose what makes you happy and be sure to enjoy your life outside of work!

Dreams For My Daughter

Right now my little girl (who is seven years old) is into pink, purple, sparkles and make-believe.  I want her to enjoy her childhood, but I also want her to grow up into a smart, confident, responsible, healthy and happy adult.  (Nothing like dreaming BIG).  I look at her and see how smart she is, and how much she loves school.  She is a great reader and is able to do the cancan in the newspaper on some days.  I want her to grow up and become what she wants.  Right now, she either wants to be a teacher, a veterinarian or a hair stylist.  Whatever she becomes I want her to be happy.

 I want her to love math and science.  Her dad is a big math and science guy.  I enjoyed science, and did well in math (without loving it).  I want her to try science and math things, and not be intimated by the boys in her class.  She is smart and she can do it.  I don’t want her derailed because she is the only female in the science or math class or club.

I want her to succeed!  I want her to earn every dollar that a man would earn.  I want her to choose something that makes her happy.  I don’t want her to think about when she becomes a mom . . . . she wouldn’t be able to  . . . . the world is hers.  I want the world to treat her fairly . . . both in raises and compensation, but also to describe her using words that are gender neutral.  I want her to rise in her career.  I want her to succeed.

 Of course, I also want her to get married.  I want her future spouse to share the household responsibilities, just like I do with her dad.  The list of our chores are at the bottom of this blog post  And if she chooses to be a stay at home parent, I want her to be happy with that decision.  It will be her life and she needs to decide what will make her happy.  In today’s world many families have two parents working, and that is okay.  It is also okay to be a stay at home mom. 

 Because I work, we don’t follow a “traditional” role of tasks.  We split the chores depending on our talent and skills.  No one person could do it all (and I am in AWE of single parents who can do everything on the list, because they don’t have a person who can share it.)

 I am very lucky since my husband came into our marriage knowing how to do laundry and keep a clean house.  I know many women that marry men who expect them to do all the household chores.  It is my belief in a house with a married couple, the jobs should be delegated according to time available and talent.  Just because a women stays at home does not mean she inherits all of the chores, because there is no way one person can do it all (and be happy).  In a home with two working adults, the duties need to be split, but also the spouses need to talk about expectations.  In our house, it is acceptable to a certain level, to have clutter on the coffee table. . . except when company arrives.  Before then, I go around and clean off the coffee table, and hide items in my bedroom (shhhh, I know you won’t share this with anyone).

My husband and I communicate openly about the roles we play and the skills we bring to the household. 

What Dad Does

• Write the checks for the bills
• Clean up after dinner
• Trombone practice with older child
• Dry Cleaner – drop off and pick up;
• Purchases presents and cards for his side of the family
• Gets kids off to school and camp
• Chief Technology Officer (Computer, Zune, Music, Cell Phone, Camera, etc)
•  Chief Music Officer

What Mom Does

• Makes dinner and breakfast
• Makes and snacks lunches for all
• Contact for Financial Planner
• Contact for CPA
• Chief paperwork coordinator (for camp, for after school, for taxes, physicians, official records)
• Coordinate lawn mowing with teenager
• Coordinate with baby sitter
• Coordinates most of the social calendar
• Chief grocery shopper and meal planner
• Purchases presents and cards for her side of the family
• Picks up kids from school and camp
• Coordinates doctor’s appointments

What we do together

• Empty the dishwasher
• Start the laundry
• Fold the laundry
• Assist children with shower
• Shovel the snow
• Rake the leaves
• Empty the trash
• Bring out the recycles
• Fill the bird feeder
• Bring children to library
• Bring children to medical appointments
• Coordinate car appointments for own car
• Set the budget

Lean In - Commentary

The buzz words of “Lean In” are all around working women, and “Having it All.”  Many women choose to return to the workforce after the birth of a child, and many other women must work after giving birth.  It is not a choice.  Others leave the work force permanently, or take time off.
 

While growing up, I lived in a traditional household, with my dad working, and my mom was a stay at home mom.  We lived in a neighborhood with many stay at home moms.  But I knew I was going to college, and I knew I was going to pick a job.

I remember when I first got pregnant; my mom really wanted me to tell my 90+ year old grandmother about the pregnancy.  I wasn’t past my first trimester, and I really didn’t want to tell people, including my own grandmother.  One of the reasons was that my own grandmother did not support working mothers.  She had her own thoughts on how working mothers and the American mall were destroying America.  I didn’t want to have that conversation with my very strong grandmother, then and for the next 6 months while I was pregnant.  My grandmother left her job, and raised two children, helped my grandfather succeed in his career and volunteered at many non-profits.

Sadly, I never had to have that conversation.  I went to the OB shortly after the conversation with my mother, and found out that the baby had no heartbeat, and was gone at 12 weeks. 

Ten months later I found out I was pregnant, again.  This time, I had no choice about telling my grandmother about the pregnancy.  The day I found out about my pregnancy, was the day of my grandmother’s funeral.

I am proud of how I live my life.  I juggle my home life (husband and children), volunteer work and my professional life.  Do I have it all?  No, but I am happy, and that is too important to not mention.

Thinking back on my decisions that I made in college, I did think that I would be a stay at home mom.  However, my career changed from educator/teacher to legal assistant/funding coordinator/client service at a law firm.  I also found out that I really liked working.  My husband and I had the conversation about me returning to work while we were expecting our son.  We decided that if I was truly miserable as a working parent, we would think of a way for me to exit the work force, and try to balance our financial life with that decision. 

Returning to work after my son was born is something that was difficult to do.  Dropping him off at the amazing daycare center with amazing teachers became part of the routine (for my husband).  Because I had worked for the same attorney for the previous 6 years, I was able to work four full days.  I know that the attorney struggled on Mondays when I was not in the office, but I really enjoyed my mommy days and I really enjoyed working.  After the birth of my daughter, we tried to continue that model.  However, as my children grew, working four days 30 miles from the home was difficult. 

 I found a new job, but in order to make myself look like a more desirable employee my husband and I decided that we would put our daughter into full time daycare.  I found a job.  I found a great job, that I really enjoy.  I found a job that my supervisor understands that my days and nights are not spent in the office.  He understands that there are parent teacher conferences, band concerts and other events in my children’s lives that need a mommy. 

 I have also found that while I am not climbing the corporate ladder to become CEO of a large company, I am at the top of the ladder of my family.  My children see me and my husband at dinner, nearly every night.  My children see that I cook dinner, while my husband cleans up after dinner.  My kids share their opinions about politics, sports and life with me, face to face.  I am the co-CEO of my house.  My kids know that my husband and I make the decisions together.  Both kids are expected to bring out the trash, and my son knows how to do laundry, because we taught him how to do laundry.  While, my current career will never bring me into the president’s chair, my kids think I could be President of the United States, and that I would do a great job.  My son’s reason for this is that he can come to me with a problem and we solve the problem together.  He thinks I could do that for the country.  I am so happy that he has that confidence in me.

In a later post I will write about women equality in the workplace and at home. 

Kosher By Design - Lemon Bundt Cake - Parve

I am always on the search for a new baked good.  I am trying to figure out some new parve desserts that are nut free and chocolate free.  I found one recipe that my daughter really liked, and looks great.  My co-workers gobbled up the cake also.

CAKE
2 1/2 c flour
1 1/2 c sugar
1 T baking powder
3/4 c orange juice
3/4 c vegetable oil
2 t lemon extract
4 large eggs (I used egg beaters)

GLAZE
3/4 c powdered sugar
2 T lemon juice

Heat oven to 325 degrees.  Spray a bundt pan with Pam with Flour.

In a large mixing bowl, combine flour, sugar and baking powder.  Add the orange juice, oil, lemon extract and eggs.  Beat for 3 minutes.  Pour into bundt pan.

Bake for 45-50 minutes (I needed 55 minutes), until a cake testor comes out clean. 

While the cake is baking make the glaze by mixing the sugar and juice in a bowl.

Remove the cake from the oven.  Cool in pan for 10 minutes.  Invest onto baking rack over cookie sheet.  While the cake is cooling pour the glaze over the cake.

In my opinion the cake tasted fine, but I happen to like my butter based cake better.  BUT, sometimes you need a dairy free cake, and if you use a fancy pan, the cake looks great.