A Letter to my Son

My son is 11, and about to end his elementary school career and soar into middle school.  I also want him to grow up into a smart, confident, responsible, healthy and happy adult.  Yes, the same dream for both of my children.  I look at him and see how great he is at arithmetic (something he clearly gets from his dad) and how curious he is, and how much he likes to read.  Not only does he read fiction and comics, but he really likes nonfiction books.  On his fifth grade graduation, he said that in 15 years he wants to be a doctor, a medical examiner or a forensic scientist.  Wow.  When I was ten, I only knew about being a doctor. . .  . I had no idea that a forensic scientist existed, much less did!  But, whatever he comes, I want him to be happy.

I want him to continue to read and enjoy math and science.  I want him to try new things.  He is smart and I know he can do it. 

I want him to grow into an adult that shares the household chores with his spouse.  He sees that his dad and I share many chores, and there are no gender roles.  He already knows how to do the laundry, and he knows that certain items don’t go into the dryer.

And what about if he wants to be a stay at home dad?  What about if my son’s future spouse wants to be a stay at home parent?  What happens if they both want to work?  I would support the decision that the couple makes together.  I would want him and his spouse to discuss it between the two of them.  Whatever he wants to do, I want him to do it.

I want him to reach for his dreams.  If he wants to be a doctor – great (and I hope that he likes school, since there will be a lot of it).  I want him to be the kind of dad my husband is to him.  I want him to throw the balls with the kids, change the diapers, and teach the kids how to ride a bike.  I don’t want him behind a screen working while his children grow in front of him.  Even if he works, there is a balance of life.  One should not be expected to be connected 24-7.  Enjoy the family.  Have a few hobbies that are relaxing.  I want him to know that life passes you by quickly, and one should see the first hand, and not on a You Tube video . . . . while he is in the office. 

Balance of life.  I would like both of my kids and their future families to live a balanced life. . . . choose what makes you happy and be sure to enjoy your life outside of work!