BBQ Sauce from scratch

This is Todd English's recipe:

1 T Canola Oil
1 cup of diced onion
2 cloves of garlic, minced
1 1/2 c ketchup
1/4 c soy sauce
1 T sesame oil
1 T honey
1 T Apple Cider Vinegar
1 T Hoisin sauce
1 1/2 tsp fresh ginger, minced
black pepper

Heat oil in sauce pan over medium heat.  Add onion and garlic and cook for five minutes.

Add 1/4 c water and the rest of the ingredients.  Bring to a boil, reduce heat and cook uncovered for 10 minutes.  Stir.  Cool for 10 minutes, and then use immersion blender until sauce is smooth.

EAT!

Merry Christmas

It is no secret that I celebrate Rosh Hashana, Passover, Purim and Hanukkah.  I am tired of people trying to "secularize" Christmas.  It is CHRISTMAS!  It is a CHRISTMAS TREE!  People hang Christmas lights!  Santa doesn't visit our house, and we are okay with that.

Recently I went to American Girl to buy my niece a gift card for Hanukkah, and the sales person asked "Is this a holiday gift?"

I replied "It is a Hanukkah gift."

She hands me a gift card that says "Merry Holidays."

I politely returned the gift card and said I would take a plain one with no holiday greeting.  The saleswoman said that this happened alot.  I said that no one wishes anyone a Merry Hanukkah or a Merry New Year, and that Merry belongs with Christmas.  I am fine with getting the generic gift card.  But don't try to stick me in the Merry box.

Last year and this year we sent "Happy Holiday" cards because I can't order half Hanukkah and half Christmas photo cards.  To me, Happy Holidays is secular.  We make sure we don't get trees, reindeer or Santa on the cards.  Usually a generic winter theme covers it for me.

People ask me if I am offended by receiving a Christmas card. . . . nope.  Of course, I appreciate the Happy Hanukkah cards my friends send (and I know for many of them I know that I am one of the few Hanukkah cards).  However, I appreciate the card. . . . I love receiving mail and I love seeing my friend's families on the cards.  I hang the Christmas cards right next to the Hanukkah cards. 

Please don't wish me a Merry Hanukkah.  :) Please pass the latkes and apple sauce.   And for dessert I will have a Christmas Jo Jo from Trader Joe's.

Thinking about Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving and Hanukkah are next week!  We are having 12 for dinner on Thanksgiving and I am really excited.  This is my menu so far:

Knishes (meat and vegetable)
Turkey
Gravy
Sweet potato with marshmallows
Potato Latkes and Apple sauce
Cranberry Orange Sauce (my mom is making)
Jellied Cranberry Sauce
Chestnut Stuffing (my mom is making)
Green Vegetable supplied by a guest
Noodle Kugel (Parve) - supplied by a guest
Homemade Challah

DESSERT
Apple Pie
Candied Cranberry Chocolate Tart
Pumpkin Pie
Chocolate Pie

What do you think?

Halloween - from the past

 

Here is our first Halloween as parents.  Mr. M is dressed up as a policeman!  He never made it to trick or treat, but we had fun.

Mr. M's second Halloween - a giraffe!!!

 The next Halloween is Winnie!!!!

 Then we have a fire fighter

 And now we have TWO kids - BUZZ and a Red Sox Player!

 The year of the APPLE and the Lady bug!

 Winnie returns - with a TOOTH!

 Transformer and a ROCKET!!!!

 Mario and Princess Peach

 Strawberry Shortcake and a Scary Dude!

Last year we have Tinkerbell and ANIMAL from the Muppets

Surprise - It is GOOD - Potato and Cheese Croquettes

First, make some mashed potatoes!

Take two large IDAHO BAKING potatoes (peeled and cut into chunks) and cook them in a large pot of boiling water for 20 minutes.  Drain the potatoes.  Put them in the pot (no water) and add 4 T. of butter, 1/2 cup half and half and salt and pepper.  Use a potato masher.

NEXT


While the mashed potatoes are still warm, add 1.5 cups of shredded cheddar cheese into the potatoes.  Beat in one egg yolk.  Shape the mashed potatoes into 16 balls.

Spread out 4 T all purpose flour on a plate.  On another plate put a beaten egg and on another plate combine 2 c breadcrumbs and 1 T parmsean cheese (shredded).  Roll the potato balls in the flour, dip into egg and coat in bread crumbs. 

Arrange on a plate.

Heat 1/2 inch oil in a skillet and fry the balls in batches 5-10 minutes - turning so that the balls are brown and crisp.

Remove and place on paper towels.

Serve hot!

Layers of Love Chocolate Brownies

Another great recipe this week!

Layers of Love Chocolate Brownies  - makes 16 yummy bars

The kids can’t take them to school because the brownies are too gooey.  Had to bring them to work.

¾ cup all-purpose flour

¾ cup baking cocoa
¼ t. salt
1 stick of butter, cut into pieces
½ c granulated sugar
½ c. brown sugar
3 large eggs, divided
2 t. vanilla
1 c. chopped pecans
¾ c white morsels (I used cappuccino, since I didn’t have white)
½ c caramel ice cream topping
¾ c semi-sweet chocolate morsels

 

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Grease 8 inch square baking pan.
 
Combine flour, cocoa and salt in bowl. 
 
Beat butter and both sugars in mixer until creamy.  Add TWO eggs, beating well.  Add vanilla and mix. 
 
Gradually add in flour mixture.  Mix til combined. 
 
Put ¾ c of batter into a measuring cup.
 
Pour the rest of the batter into the pan.  Sprinkle with nuts and cappuccino chips.  Drizzle caramel topping over the top.  Beat remaining egg and batter in mixer until light in color.  Stir in semi-sweet morsels.  Spread over caramel topping.
 
Bake for 30-35 minutes or until center is set.  Cool in pan on wire rack.  Cut into bars.

Another New Recipe - Pasta with Spiced Butter Sauce

I checked out a new cookbook, called PLENTY, from the library.  So far, I have made two great meals, including this pasta with spiced butter sauce.  Originally the recipe calls for homemade pasta, but I used premade pasta.  The original recipe serves 4, but I got 6 servings out of the recipe.  I also made a few more changes

One pound of pasta

Spiced butter
2 sticks of butter
4 tbsp. olive oil
4 whole shallots, finely chopped
1 tsp. ground ginger
1 tsp. sweet paprika
1 tsp. ground coriander
1 tsp. ground cumin
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper
1/2 tsp. red pepper flakes
1/2 tsp. ground turmeric
1 tsp. salt
black pepper

½ c pine nuts, toasted and roughly chopped

4 tbsp. roughly chopped cilantro

 

Cook pasta according to box, and drain.

 

In a large fry pan, melt butter and oil.  Add shallots and cook for 10 minutes.  Add the rest of the spices and remove from heat.  Put the drained pasta in a serving bowl.  Add butter sauce, and then add pine nuts and cilantro.  Serve.  I served with a salad, and a side of honey glazed carrots.

Chocolate Chip Cookies from the Boston Globe Magazine – October 6, 2013

4¼ cups unbleached all-purpose flour

1 tablespoon kosher salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
3 sticks unsalted butter, at room temperature
2 cups dark brown sugar
1 cup granulated sugar
3 large eggs, lightly beaten
2 tablespoons vanilla extract
2 cups mini chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. In a medium bowl, combine the flour, salt, and baking soda, and set aside. In a stand-mixer bowl fitted with a paddle attachment, mix the butter and sugars on medium speed until combined, 1 to 2 minutes. Slowly add the eggs, mixing until homogeneous, scraping down the sides of the bowl. Add the vanilla.

Add the flour mixture and mix on medium until barely combined. Add the chocolate chips and mix until just combined. Using a rubber spatula, fold the batter from the bottom to the top several times to ensure the mixture is homogeneous.

Line 2 large baking sheets with parchment paper. Drop large balls (about 2½ tablespoons of batter) onto the sheet, leaving 1½ inches between the cookies, for about 10 cookies per sheet. Bake 15 minutes, rotating racks halfway through the baking time. Remove from the oven when cookies are light golden brown. Allow to cool 5 minutes on the sheet and then transfer to a cooling rack. Repeat.

Rice with Lentils and Carmelized Onions

I made this one night for dinner, and the kids had friends over, and everyone loved this.  The friends asked for leftovers to bring home!

Adapted from Persian Food from the Non Persian Bride by Reyna Simnegar

SERVES 12

RICE
3 cups basmati rice, rinsed
8 cups water
2 T salt
1/2 t. turmeric
1/2 c canola oil

RICE TOPPING
1/2 brown lentils, rinsed
1 1/2 c water
1 onion, caramelized (roughly chop an onion.   Heat a fry pan with a bit of oil and cook onion over high heat until it turns golden brown, then turn heat down to low and continue to cook onion for 25 minutes until brown.  Stir while on low.  Remove from heat and set aside.

POTATO
canola oil
2 T water
1/2 t saffron powder
2 large potatoes, peeled and sliced


Fill a large non stick pot with 8 cups of water, add oil, salt and turmeric.  Cover and bring to a boil over high heat.

Make the rice topping - in a saucepan bring the water and lentils to a boil.  Reduce heat to low and simmer for 20 minutes.  Remove from heat, drain and set aside.

When the water and turmeric boils, add the rice and cook uncovered over medium to high heat, stirring occasionally.  After five minutes, take a grain of rice and see it is al dente.  If it is, turn off heat, and drain rice over strainer.  Set rice aside.  Then stir rice and lentils together.

Place the large non stick pot on the stove top over medium heat with 1/4 inch of canola oil.  Add 2 T of water.  Add saffron powder and stir.  Add sliced potato in a single layer.  Then add rice and shape it into a pyramid.  Cover and cook for 5-7 minutes until the rice begins to steam.  Uncover and place one cloth towel around the cover and put the cover back on the pan.  Make sure all ends of the towel are ON TOP of the cover, so that the ends aren't near the heat source.  Reduce to low and cook for 45 minutes.

Serve on a platter or in a bowl and put the caramelized onions and potatoes onto the rice.  Serve hot.

Child Care

As a working mom, I have depended on child care providers to help with my children.  We started out in 2002 at Brookline Infant Toddler Center (called BITC), in Auburndale, MA.  Both of our children thrived at this daycare.  The teachers there are wonderful, and many have been there for years, which in the child care world is rare.  The infant room was wonderful, especially when my son had numerous ear infections that resulted in him having tubes, which removed ear infections from his life.  The older infant room and the toddler room were great places for the kids to learn and explore.  The three's room was next, and the teachers there LOVE the threes.  And the last two years are preschool I and preschool II.  The teachers were our partners.  She was concerned with our daughter's health.  When my son was receiving services, the teachers in the toddler room, requested that the Early Intervention therapist come into the classroom and see him in a school setting.When our daughter needed to keep a journal of everything she ate in the toddler room, the teacher assisted us.  The same teachers who taught our son.  After nine years of daycare, I cried that we were leaving their nest for good - after nine wonderful years.  My wallet did not cry, but I cried.  They were my extended family.  We visit every once in awhile to see our family.  We used to stop by more often with donations of outgrown toys, but sadly we are out of those also.

We then found Rec Place as our elementary after school program.  Nance Miller is a wonderful program leader, and has a staff of caring teachers and junior teachers.  Nance introduced the kids to many wonderful things, including pumpkin picking without your parents, having a service dog trainer come into the program, and other wonderful things.  Nance believes in child nutrition and has an array of fresh fruits and vegetables every day at the program that the children can eat.  She cares about the environment and teaches the children that by having re-usable plates and glasses.  She installed an industrial dishwasher so the program could continue using plates and glasses.  She lives by her words.  Last year, our son was a senior in the program - a fifth grader.  He finally got to sit in the senior lounge, and he and the guys hung out there.

We also found Meadowbrook Day Camp in Weston, which has been a wonderful program.  My kids really learned how to swim under Candy's direction.  The kids learned to love archery.  The kids played tennis, soccer, baseball and basketball.  The kids had ropes and dancing and music.  The kids love it there.  Dan, the director, is a wonderful director, and his family is wonderful.

Our son attends The Highlands After School Program, and we are discovering another new family.  This program has two middle schools that use the program, and they are right in the center of the village.  So far our child has enjoyed his time there. 

As a parent it is important for me to find safe and fun places for my child to learn and explore.  And all of these come with a price.  All of these cost money, and I have to say, I feel like these are the best people to watch my children when I am at work. 

Chocolate Chip Cookie Bars

Chocolate Chip Cookie Bars

Adapted from the King Arthur Cookie Companion

 

2 ½ t. baking powder

2 ¾ cup all-purpose flour
½ t salt
1 1/3 stick of butter, melted
2 ¼ cup packed brown sugar
1 t vanilla
3 large eggs
2 cups chocolate chips
1 cup chopped walnuts

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.  Spray a  10 x 15 jelly roll pan with Pam.

In a bowl, combine flour, salt and baking powder.  Set aside.

Melt the butter in a pan on the stove top.  Once melted, remove from heat. 

Add the brown sugar into the butter and stir.  Add vanilla and stir.  Let cool for a few minutes.  Add the eggs one at a time, stirring well after each one.   Add in the flour mixture.  Add in chocolate chips and walnuts.

Pour batter into jelly roll pan and spread.

Bake for 24-26 minutes (check often).  The top should be shiny and golden, but DO NOT OVERBAKE.  A toothpick inserted into the center will NOT come out clean. 

Cool to room temperature and then cut.

A crowd favorite

This weekend I did a lot of baking, including a favorite:

http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2012/08/my-favorite-brownies/

I make these brownies quite often, as my co-workers really like them and they are really easy to make!  I highly recommend them.

September 11

Recently we had a conversation with the kids about September 11 . . . . and what happened that day and how the world changed. 

My kids had no idea that before September 11, that security at airports was different.

My kids had no idea that before September 11, one could carry a cup of coffee or a bottle of water through security.

My kids had no idea that before September 11, adults could keep on their shoes and belts.

My kids had no idea that before September 11, kids could look into the cockpit before take off.

We explained to the kids what happened physically on September 11 . . . about the four planes. . . the heroes that died in Pennsylvania.  We explained how two planes were from Boston.  We explained about the Pentagon.  We explained that thousands of people died in America on one day because someone else had planned this destruction.  We explained how air travel in  the United States was SHUT DOWN.

I also explained to Naomi for the first time about the boy who I went to school with . . . .  who died while working at the World Trade Center in Manhattan.  I explained to both kids that he never got a chance to get married and he never had a chance to become a dad, and coach his kids in youth soccer.  Erik would have loved that opportunity.  Erik was a kid I went to school with from fourth grade until we both graduated MHS.  Erik was a kid who smiled alot.  Erik was a kid who lived for soccer season. 

Today, I think about Erik and all the others who lost their lives while just doing every day things - typing on the computer, drinking coffee, flying in an airplane. . . . I think of the heroes who died in a field in Pennsylvania trying to save others.  I remember.  I won't ever forget.

It is hard that the kids think of this as a day of history . . . .  just as I had thought of Pearl Harbor as a day of history.  It isn't history.  I think about, not just today, but during times of the year.  Last year I thought about Erik alot, as I watched my daughter play soccer.

9/11 - a day that will not be forgotten by me and many others.

Early Blog Years

This is one of my favorite blog posts from my blog.

Naomi

It was from the first year of the blog - vintage!

Rosh Hashana Menus

This year we are hosting Erev Rosh Hashana for seven and then the second day for ten.  The second day is going to be a completely vegetarian menu!

Here are the two menus:

Wednesday Night:
Two Homemade Round Challahs with NO raisins
Honey
Vegetarian and Meat Knishes
Gazpacho (too hot to make chicken soup)
Roasted Red Pepper Dip
Chick Pea Salad
Gefilte Fish (optional course)
Persian Chicken in Tomato Sauce
Persian Basmati Rice
Mushroom Tart
Roasted Carrots
Fruit
Apple Pie (homemade from the Pie and Pastry Bible)
Lemon Tart (homemade)
Pastry tray with maple brownies, salted chocolate chip cookies and rugelach

Friday Late Lunch
Two Homemade Round Challahs with NO raisins
Honey
Vegetarian Knishes
Gazpacho (too hot to make chicken soup)
Roasted Red Pepper Dip
Persian Carrot Salad
Rice with Lentils and onions
Glazed sweet potato
slow roasted tomatoes
Potato Kugel
Carrot Kugel (made by our guests)
Fruit
Lemon Tart
Chocolate Mousse
Pastry tray with maple brownies, salted chocolate chip cookies and rugelach

And here are some photos for the girl - who did not want to be left out

The first day of daycare:

The first day of the toddler room:

The first day of the Three's Room:

The first day of Preschool One:

The first day of Preschool Two:

The first day of kindy:

The first day of first grade:

From last week:

Middle School Here We Come

Back 11 years ago, there is no way, I could picture my little boy going to middle school.  But somehow, that has happened.

This is back on Mark's first day of daycare:

Then we have a photo from the first day of kindy:

Then we have a photo from the first day of fifth grade:

And then a photo from last week:  Almost in sixth grade:

Shop Local Businesses

It is easy to order things over the web, and have them delivered at your front door.  It is easy.  I will admit it, however our local businesses need YOU!

1.  New England Mobile Book Fair - a treasure!  New owners are changing it up a bit, but they offer TONS of books, and they support the local schools.  They need you to pick up the latest best seller there (plus they will discount it).

2.  The Green Planet - another local treasure  - find wonderful toys there, and the staff can really help you locate the perfect toy.  It is in Newton Highlands.  They also support local schools and have really tried to rebuild Newton Highlands since the closure of Bakers Best.

3.  Weston Optical - Wayland, MA - the best place to buy glasses, and their personal service is amazing.  My kids love visiting the gang there, and the staff again has great advice!

4.  One Stop Dry Cleaners in Newton Highlands - another great place.  The owners are really nice and want to provide great service.

5.  Leather World in Newton Highlands (Needham Street)

6.  China Fair in Newton Highlands (Needham Street) - great buys!

7.  Bread and Chocolate in Newtonville and Newton Highlands!

8.  The Local in West Newton

9.  The Urban Grape in Chestnut Hill

10.  Shubies in Marblehead, MA

Shop and Eat locally.  If we don't support local businesses, they will disappear!  We need local business and they need us!

Class Time

I don't go to many classes as a student.  I just don't have the time.  However, I made time for a set of two classes at Shubie's in Marblehead.  Let me give you some history.  I grew up in Marblehead, MA, and I worked at Shube's supermarket - the owner of Shube's Supermarket is a relative of the current owner's of Shubie's.  Of course, working at Shube's meant that I also knew the owners of Shubie's (then just a liquor store).  Also in Marblehead, MA was this AMAZING French Master Baker.  I don't remember when Delphin Gomes opened his French Pastry Shop on Washington Street, but I remember the pastry really well.  Delphin is a Master French Pastry Chef, trained in France.  His pastries are one of a kind.  I remember my mom serving the pastries on special occasions.  One of my favorite pastries was a round chocolate mousse and raspberry mousse pastry.  Amazing.  I still remember it years later.

Years later he closed the shop to join the Cambridge Culinary School and to open his own pastry school.  Sadly, the shop wasn't a place where you could pick up dessert for that night.  But I never forgot those pastries.

This year, my mom sent me an email from Shubie's stating that Chef Gomes was teaching some classes at their store.  I signed up for the French Pastry and French Fillings and Custards.  Sadly the Chocolate Classes were on days that I could not attend.

My mom and I attended two Monday night classes.  Delphin is the type of guy that teaches you alot, and both nights the two hour class was well over three hours.  On the first night, we learned about sweet dough, regular dough, puff pastry dough, and we made them all!  We learned how to make individual tartlets and smaller pastries.  He taught us a few secrets.

The second night was amazing - chocolate mousse, raspberry mousse, lemon cream, brown butter, Almond cream and more.  We spent the night stirring, cooking and tasting lovely creams to fill our tarts.  He taught us how to arrange the fruit nicely on top on the creams.

I really enjoyed learning from a Master Chef who has a great sense of humor.  It was a long ride to Marblehead and back again (twice), but I am sure my family will benefit from what I learned. 

I included a few photos.  The first is the apricot tartlets.  The second is Chef Gomes filling little boats with almond cream, and the last is a classmate completing the lemon tarts with Italian Meringue.

Paternity Leave

RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES - Father's Don't Get Paid Paternity Time!

http://boston.cbslocal.com/2013/07/23/study-many-dads-dont-get-paternity-leave/

NO KIDDING!  I can't believe this is NEWS!  And you know what, during my maternity leaves, I worked for a small business, and I had to PIECE together my maternity leave.  In fact, because it was a small business (less than five employees), I didn't use vacation the year I was pregnant or the year before, and that was my paid maternity leave.  And then instead of taking my bonus, I used that for some additional time off. 

Adam at the time of our son's birth, took one week of vacation time.  That was it.  Yup.  He worked for a smallish start up (100 or so employees), and they didn't offer paid paternity.  At the time of our daughter's birth, was working for a huge company, that offered a FOUR WEEK PAID PATERNITY leave, and we used it!  And it could be used NON CONSECUTIVELY.  So, he took one week off as vacation for the week of the birth, and then once we exhausted my maternity leave (of my "vacation") he then spent four weeks at home. . .  bonding with the kids.  Our son wasn't in full time daycare at the time, so twice a week, he had BOTH kids. 

I will admit, I did not have him cook dinner or do the things that I did, but I was grateful that he was bonding with our kids.  What he did during the hours I was at work . . . . he decided.  He did the diaper changes, the meals, and if he did a load of laundry - GREAT!  But, we also knew that not everyone got this opportunity.  The opportunity of what life is like as a stay at home parent. . . . . a stay at home parent of a infant girl who was not as healthy as we expected.  He watched her like a hawk for any potential seizures, and of course he had to clean up after an "eruption" caused by her reflux.  Our little baby girl generated ALOT of laundry those early months, and he understood during his leave why we had so much laundry EVERY DAY.

I am really happy that Adam had this opportunity, and I wish more companies offered this benefit, because it benefits the family, and the company.  Adam, for four weeks, did not have to work at his job and work at home.  He didn't have to do the 60 minute commute on four hours of sleep for four weeks.  I am sure his body appreciate that.

But right now most dads in this country don't have this opportunity.

What do we have to do in order to change it from this headline to Father's Get Paid Paternity Time and we chastise the companies that DON'T offer this perk.

He is BACK

We picked up Mr. Mark on Sunday from overnight camp.  He came home tired, dirty and loving camp.  The first question out of his mouth was "Can I go for the whole summer next year?"

As much as I love my kid, and I want to do right by him, I still missed him - alot.  He is entering the pre-teen stage, and we have our moments, but I love him, and I missed him.  Three and a half weeks flew by for both of us.  I know that he is safe and happy at camp.  I know that he is learning more independence at camp.  I also know that I promised he could go for the WHOLE summer in 2014.  Now, I just have to figure out how to make it work for me.

Little sister will LOVE being an only child - again.  She loved having the world revolve around her, and we did GIRL things and we did family things (trip to the MFA), and she decided on which exhibits. 

It is great to have my boy home again.  He is attending day camp for the rest of the summer, but he is already planning summer of 2014 in his head.  He can't wait.  Camp truly is a special place!

Movie Review

Last night, I had the opportunity to see the movie, "Fill the Void" at the West Newton Cinema.  The movie is in Hebrew with subtitles.  It was a fabulous movie, that was much different than any Hollywood produced film.  The film is about an ultra Orthodox family in Israel.  The movie focuses on Shira.  Shira is an 18 year old girl, who is about to meet her future husband.  Shira looks up to her older sister, Esther.  Esther is 9 months pregnant, and happily married to Yochay.  Esther dies and leaves her newborn son (extra moments of sadness when the family has to bury the Esther and attend Mordechai's circumcision).

Shira's mother is distraught to think that Mordechai might be moving to Belgium, because that is where Yochay finds a new wife.  Shira's mother wants Shira to marry Yochay, and here is where the film really gets good.  Shira is desperate to get married. . . . all her friends are getting married. . .  .  but her parents aren't ready to become empty nesters so soon after Esther's death (even though they are caring for Mordechai).  I won't ruin the movie for you, but the relationship between Shira and Yochay moves from strangers. . . . to intimate . . . . and back again and back again, many times. 

The movie is wonderful . . . . and I love how I knew that Shira looked up to Esther and Esther loved being the big sister.  The relationship is real.  I love how near the end of the movie, Shira lets her emotions go, and her mother realizes that Shira needs her love. . . . (and Yochay witnesses this) . . . . and how Yochay weeps (and not only does Shira witness this, in her own way, reaches out to him and speaks with him honestly.

I would also recommend a coffee session to de-brief after this movie.  So much of this movie is NOT spoken, and you really need to think about and discuss.  Much of the movie needs to be discussed because we live so differently compared to Shria and her family, even though this is a modern day film.

It is a move that I recommend to people who want something that is NOT Hollywood. 

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

I grew up listening to Cyndi Lauper.  I remember when I bought myself the "She's so Unusual" album (cassette).  I loved that album and sang "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" for HOURS at end.  There was no question in my mind when my husband came home one night telling me about Cyndi's 30th Anniversary of the album. . . . and the tour.  I had to GO!  I HAD TO. 

The concert was in New Bedford at the Zeiterion Theater. . . . yes you read that correctly.  It took an hour to get to the theater, but the theater is beautiful on the inside.  It is a small venue but wonderful.

Another surprise - over 50% of the crowd was either 65 or over.  I had no idea that Ms. Lauper would attract that age group.  I had imagined dancing with people my age, and yelling out the words of MONEY CHANGES EVERYTHING with people of my generation. 

There was an opening act - Harper Vallentine - nothing to write home about.  But Cyndi sang the WHOLE album.  And during the show she talked to us. . . . she told us how "hear the clock tick. . . . I think of you . . . . " and other lyrics.  At times it was very intimate.  Once during the show she started the song over again, because she was a beat off from the instruments.

The songs that she sang:

Money Changes Everything
Girls Just Want to Have Fun
When You Were Mine
Time After Time
She Bop
All Through the Night
Witness
I'll Kiss You
He's So Unusual
Yeah Yeah

The first encore was Sex Is in the Heel, and it was awesome. . . . but it was late. . . . I had to work the next day . . . . we were paying a baby sitter and I was still an HOUR away from the house. . . . and I heard EVERYTHING that I had wanted to hear.

Would I go back to the Zeiterion????  Yes. . . . but it would have to be for someone special and a good day of the week . . . . Getting back at midnight is rough for this under 65 person!

 

My Kid is Growing Up

It seems like yesterday my son left the safety of preschool, and started Angier Elementary School.  It was yesterday.  It was yesterday that I was worried about the large class of 25, the new teacher and making new friends.  It was yesterday that we found out you needed glasses.  It was yesterday that you were telling me what the tooth fairy wore (a pink sparkly dress - even though it is Daddy who plays the part of the tooth fairy.)  It was yesterday that I signed him up for his first summer of Meadowbrook Day Camp.  It was yesterday when he asked to join Succariah, the Israel Dance Program.  It was yesterday that I signed you up for Hebrew School.

 It was yesterday that he entered the safety of Ms. Brody’s first grade classroom.  It was yesterday when he made his own Flat Stanley (based on the book Flat Stanley by Jeff Brown) in first grade, and it was mailed to my cousin, Jeff in Hong Kong.  It was yesterday that you wanted to be a tooth for Halloween.  It was yesterday that I made him the presidential seal birthday cake.  It was yesterday when you ran into a pole while flying a kite.  It was yesterday that he met Jason Varitek at his first grade end of year party.

It was yesterday that he entered Ms. Wigder’s second grade classroom.  It was yesterday that a chipmunk ran into his second grade classroom.  He went to the Chinese Cultural Center and made a Chinese lantern.  It was yesterday that he studied Ghana, China and Mexico.  It was yesterday that you joined the boy scouts and had your first overnight.  It was yesterday when we took you to the top of Mount Washington.

It was yesterday that he entered Ms. Powell’s third grade classroom.  It was yesterday that Ms. Powell instructed him on how to build a paragraph with an interesting first sentence, three sentences that contain details and the concluding sentence.  It was Ms. Powell who taught him about WETU’s and assigned him the New England Mammal – the woodchuck.  It was in third grade that he requested to learn how to play trombone and we found Aubrey Logan, musician and teacher extraordinaire.   It was yesterday that you joined the synagogue's youth group. It was yesterday when we took you to your first Red Sox game.  And after a really great, hardworking year, we went to Disney.

It was yesterday that he entered Ms. Bauer and Ms. Allen’s fourth grade classroom.  It was yesterday that my son built the pentagon for his Washington DC project.  It was yesterday that he became my grandmother for the immigration unit.  It was yesterday that I packed him up for his first time at overnight camp.  It was yesterday that we got his Bar Mitzvah date.

It was yesterday that he entered Ms. Wink’s fifth grade classroom.  It was yesterday that he was accepted into All City Chorus.  It was yesterday that he was accepted into All City Band.  It was yesterday that he attended his first Funtastic Friday as a Fifth grader.

It is today that he is leaving Angier Elementary and soaring off to middle school.  It is TODAY that he is leaving Angier and starting overnight camp for three plus weeks.  It is today that my baby is no longer my baby.   It is today that I have to accept that I have parented him through the infant, toddler, preschool and elementary years and hopefully prepared him for middle school and all the social events of middle school and beyond.

Yummy Chicken

I have been using the Kosher by Design cookbooks for a few weeks now.  I really like the recipes.  This one is from the "Entertains" book, and is something that can be done after work.

Ingredients:

• 8 ounces bow tie pasta
• 3 tablespoons olive oil
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 3 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into bite sized pieces
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano
• 1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
• 1 teaspoon garlic salt
• 3/4 cup chicken broth
• 1/4 cup oil-packed, sun-dried tomatoes, cut into thin strips
• 1/4 cup dry white wine
• 2 Roma tomatoes chopped
• 1/2 cup frozen green peas (from a 10-ounce box) unthawed
• 1/4 cup soy milk

Preparation:

1. Cook the pasta according to package directions and drain.
2. Meanwhile, heat the oil in a large pan over medium heat. Add the garlic, cook for 30 seconds, do not brown it. Add the chicken, oregano, red pepper flakes, and garlic salt. Cook for 4 minutes. Add the broth, sun-dried tomatoes, and wine. Bring to a boil. Add in the fresh tomatoes and peas. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 5-6 minutes, uncovered. Make sure chicken is no longer pink.
3. Stir in the soymilk. Simmer 2 minutes more. Watch the whole time to make sure the sauce does not cook out. Add in the cooked pasta and toss to combine all. Heat through.

 

It made enough to feed the three meat eaters in the house with significant leftovers.  What I liked about this recipe is that it has a little bit of heat to it, but not too much.  The kids liked the dinner also, which is always a win with me!

My eldest

It is rare that I can get him to smile for a photograph.  He is going through a stage.  But, somehow I managed to convince him to get his face painted  . . . complete with a Bruins logo.

A Letter to my Son

My son is 11, and about to end his elementary school career and soar into middle school.  I also want him to grow up into a smart, confident, responsible, healthy and happy adult.  Yes, the same dream for both of my children.  I look at him and see how great he is at arithmetic (something he clearly gets from his dad) and how curious he is, and how much he likes to read.  Not only does he read fiction and comics, but he really likes nonfiction books.  On his fifth grade graduation, he said that in 15 years he wants to be a doctor, a medical examiner or a forensic scientist.  Wow.  When I was ten, I only knew about being a doctor. . .  . I had no idea that a forensic scientist existed, much less did!  But, whatever he comes, I want him to be happy.

I want him to continue to read and enjoy math and science.  I want him to try new things.  He is smart and I know he can do it. 

I want him to grow into an adult that shares the household chores with his spouse.  He sees that his dad and I share many chores, and there are no gender roles.  He already knows how to do the laundry, and he knows that certain items don’t go into the dryer.

And what about if he wants to be a stay at home dad?  What about if my son’s future spouse wants to be a stay at home parent?  What happens if they both want to work?  I would support the decision that the couple makes together.  I would want him and his spouse to discuss it between the two of them.  Whatever he wants to do, I want him to do it.

I want him to reach for his dreams.  If he wants to be a doctor – great (and I hope that he likes school, since there will be a lot of it).  I want him to be the kind of dad my husband is to him.  I want him to throw the balls with the kids, change the diapers, and teach the kids how to ride a bike.  I don’t want him behind a screen working while his children grow in front of him.  Even if he works, there is a balance of life.  One should not be expected to be connected 24-7.  Enjoy the family.  Have a few hobbies that are relaxing.  I want him to know that life passes you by quickly, and one should see the first hand, and not on a You Tube video . . . . while he is in the office. 

Balance of life.  I would like both of my kids and their future families to live a balanced life. . . . choose what makes you happy and be sure to enjoy your life outside of work!

Dreams For My Daughter

Right now my little girl (who is seven years old) is into pink, purple, sparkles and make-believe.  I want her to enjoy her childhood, but I also want her to grow up into a smart, confident, responsible, healthy and happy adult.  (Nothing like dreaming BIG).  I look at her and see how smart she is, and how much she loves school.  She is a great reader and is able to do the cancan in the newspaper on some days.  I want her to grow up and become what she wants.  Right now, she either wants to be a teacher, a veterinarian or a hair stylist.  Whatever she becomes I want her to be happy.

 I want her to love math and science.  Her dad is a big math and science guy.  I enjoyed science, and did well in math (without loving it).  I want her to try science and math things, and not be intimated by the boys in her class.  She is smart and she can do it.  I don’t want her derailed because she is the only female in the science or math class or club.

I want her to succeed!  I want her to earn every dollar that a man would earn.  I want her to choose something that makes her happy.  I don’t want her to think about when she becomes a mom . . . . she wouldn’t be able to  . . . . the world is hers.  I want the world to treat her fairly . . . both in raises and compensation, but also to describe her using words that are gender neutral.  I want her to rise in her career.  I want her to succeed.

 Of course, I also want her to get married.  I want her future spouse to share the household responsibilities, just like I do with her dad.  The list of our chores are at the bottom of this blog post  And if she chooses to be a stay at home parent, I want her to be happy with that decision.  It will be her life and she needs to decide what will make her happy.  In today’s world many families have two parents working, and that is okay.  It is also okay to be a stay at home mom. 

 Because I work, we don’t follow a “traditional” role of tasks.  We split the chores depending on our talent and skills.  No one person could do it all (and I am in AWE of single parents who can do everything on the list, because they don’t have a person who can share it.)

 I am very lucky since my husband came into our marriage knowing how to do laundry and keep a clean house.  I know many women that marry men who expect them to do all the household chores.  It is my belief in a house with a married couple, the jobs should be delegated according to time available and talent.  Just because a women stays at home does not mean she inherits all of the chores, because there is no way one person can do it all (and be happy).  In a home with two working adults, the duties need to be split, but also the spouses need to talk about expectations.  In our house, it is acceptable to a certain level, to have clutter on the coffee table. . . except when company arrives.  Before then, I go around and clean off the coffee table, and hide items in my bedroom (shhhh, I know you won’t share this with anyone).

My husband and I communicate openly about the roles we play and the skills we bring to the household. 

What Dad Does

• Write the checks for the bills
• Clean up after dinner
• Trombone practice with older child
• Dry Cleaner – drop off and pick up;
• Purchases presents and cards for his side of the family
• Gets kids off to school and camp
• Chief Technology Officer (Computer, Zune, Music, Cell Phone, Camera, etc)
•  Chief Music Officer

What Mom Does

• Makes dinner and breakfast
• Makes and snacks lunches for all
• Contact for Financial Planner
• Contact for CPA
• Chief paperwork coordinator (for camp, for after school, for taxes, physicians, official records)
• Coordinate lawn mowing with teenager
• Coordinate with baby sitter
• Coordinates most of the social calendar
• Chief grocery shopper and meal planner
• Purchases presents and cards for her side of the family
• Picks up kids from school and camp
• Coordinates doctor’s appointments

What we do together

• Empty the dishwasher
• Start the laundry
• Fold the laundry
• Assist children with shower
• Shovel the snow
• Rake the leaves
• Empty the trash
• Bring out the recycles
• Fill the bird feeder
• Bring children to library
• Bring children to medical appointments
• Coordinate car appointments for own car
• Set the budget

Lean In - Commentary

The buzz words of “Lean In” are all around working women, and “Having it All.”  Many women choose to return to the workforce after the birth of a child, and many other women must work after giving birth.  It is not a choice.  Others leave the work force permanently, or take time off.
 

While growing up, I lived in a traditional household, with my dad working, and my mom was a stay at home mom.  We lived in a neighborhood with many stay at home moms.  But I knew I was going to college, and I knew I was going to pick a job.

I remember when I first got pregnant; my mom really wanted me to tell my 90+ year old grandmother about the pregnancy.  I wasn’t past my first trimester, and I really didn’t want to tell people, including my own grandmother.  One of the reasons was that my own grandmother did not support working mothers.  She had her own thoughts on how working mothers and the American mall were destroying America.  I didn’t want to have that conversation with my very strong grandmother, then and for the next 6 months while I was pregnant.  My grandmother left her job, and raised two children, helped my grandfather succeed in his career and volunteered at many non-profits.

Sadly, I never had to have that conversation.  I went to the OB shortly after the conversation with my mother, and found out that the baby had no heartbeat, and was gone at 12 weeks. 

Ten months later I found out I was pregnant, again.  This time, I had no choice about telling my grandmother about the pregnancy.  The day I found out about my pregnancy, was the day of my grandmother’s funeral.

I am proud of how I live my life.  I juggle my home life (husband and children), volunteer work and my professional life.  Do I have it all?  No, but I am happy, and that is too important to not mention.

Thinking back on my decisions that I made in college, I did think that I would be a stay at home mom.  However, my career changed from educator/teacher to legal assistant/funding coordinator/client service at a law firm.  I also found out that I really liked working.  My husband and I had the conversation about me returning to work while we were expecting our son.  We decided that if I was truly miserable as a working parent, we would think of a way for me to exit the work force, and try to balance our financial life with that decision. 

Returning to work after my son was born is something that was difficult to do.  Dropping him off at the amazing daycare center with amazing teachers became part of the routine (for my husband).  Because I had worked for the same attorney for the previous 6 years, I was able to work four full days.  I know that the attorney struggled on Mondays when I was not in the office, but I really enjoyed my mommy days and I really enjoyed working.  After the birth of my daughter, we tried to continue that model.  However, as my children grew, working four days 30 miles from the home was difficult. 

 I found a new job, but in order to make myself look like a more desirable employee my husband and I decided that we would put our daughter into full time daycare.  I found a job.  I found a great job, that I really enjoy.  I found a job that my supervisor understands that my days and nights are not spent in the office.  He understands that there are parent teacher conferences, band concerts and other events in my children’s lives that need a mommy. 

 I have also found that while I am not climbing the corporate ladder to become CEO of a large company, I am at the top of the ladder of my family.  My children see me and my husband at dinner, nearly every night.  My children see that I cook dinner, while my husband cleans up after dinner.  My kids share their opinions about politics, sports and life with me, face to face.  I am the co-CEO of my house.  My kids know that my husband and I make the decisions together.  Both kids are expected to bring out the trash, and my son knows how to do laundry, because we taught him how to do laundry.  While, my current career will never bring me into the president’s chair, my kids think I could be President of the United States, and that I would do a great job.  My son’s reason for this is that he can come to me with a problem and we solve the problem together.  He thinks I could do that for the country.  I am so happy that he has that confidence in me.

In a later post I will write about women equality in the workplace and at home.